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ABOUT YOUR LIFE COACH /
COUNSELOR,
BRENDA R. DEERE, MA, LPA, CSRC, CLC
I have been a practicing psychologist in Raleigh, NC for over 10 years. For most of my life, I was the overweight child, teen and adult. I was the one who was
teased, sometimes “lovingly” by my family, sometimes not so lovingly by the people at school, etc.
I was the one that the perfume lady at the mall would turn away from because, after all, “Why would someone so
heavy be interested in a sample of my nice perfume…she obviously doesn’t care what she looks like.”
Those of you who have dealt with weight issues, either lifelong ones or recent weight gains, know what I’m talking
about. The issue runs very deep with us. Most people honestly have no idea of the pain
we have gone through, the hundreds of times we have tried to lose weight, the countless New Year’s Resolutions we’ve
made to lose weight and get healthy once and for all.
At
some point the year before my 50th birthday (yes, 50!), I made the DECISION that I was going to lose the weight,
in a healthy way, once and for all and that IT WAS NEVER COMING BACK ON AGAIN! I lost 110 lbs. in about
12 months, and have kept it off for the past six years. I went from 245 lbs. to a healthy 135 lbs.
And no, I’m not a size 2…not even an 8. I’m a 10-12 in most clothes, and I am
thrilled. Since I was in college, where I majored in Psychology, I have been determined to help people
lose weight…even though I was still heavy! I was fortunate to be able to be a stay-at-home mom and
raise two lovely daughters, and when the youngest was in high school, I returned for my Master’s degree in Clinical
Psychology. My thesis was on college women and weight, body-image, and self-esteem issues.
You are well aware of the job the media and TV shows have done to damage the young people of the past two generations.
They have us believe that if we don’t have the “perfect” body, skin, clothes, friends, etc., we are
“nobodies…losers…unpopular for life.” I’ve cried for those young women
who are literally ruining their lives with anorexia and bulimia trying to fit into a mold that isn’t supposed
to fit everyone! No one even knows what ‘normal’ looks like anymore. Either
you’re FAT or you’re THIN. Where’s the word for “NORMAL?”
Now, let me go back to the first paragraph
for a minute, and explain the difference between working with a Life Coach as opposed to a psychologist, social
worker, or licensed professional counselor. Recently, I decided to branch out into Life Coaching / Counseling because
I felt that it filled a niche that was lacking in mental health care. You see, in order to use your insurance
to see a counselor, psychologist or social worker, the insurance company requires that the provider give you an “official
diagnosis.” This diagnosis will remain on your medical record indefinitely. If
you work for a large company, this may be fine, and it is certainly less expensive to only have to pay your deductible at
your appointments. However, you may find that when you try to switch insurance companies, or need to purchase
private insurance (as happened in my case recently), your premiums will reflect any prior diagnoses you have received.
Don’t get me wrong…there are certainly legitimate reasons for seeking out mental health care, and I’m
obviously a strong believer in the positive outcomes that can be achieved. However, my particular interest
is in the area of weight loss. As a psychologist, if someone comes in who is a binge eater, or an
emotional eater, there is no official psychological diagnosis for someone who overeats and is overweight due to emotional
or other issues. Anorexia, yep! Bulimia, sure! And I know those
are very real and difficult issues to deal with, which fall into the Eating Disorders category. However,
if one is an emotional eater like I was (and, admittedly sometimes still am) the formal psychological diagnosis would have
to go down as EDNOS, which means “Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified.” I understand that
in the near future, binge eating will be added as a “legitimate” eating disorder, as it should have been years
ago. The current research indicates that Binge Eating, or Emotional Eating, is a larger eating issue than
Anorexia and Bulimia combined! This should come as no surprise to those of us who experience it! I also put Binge Eating and Emotional eating into the Addiction category.
However, unlike other addictions, one cannot simply stop eating food altogether! One can give up
cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, gambling, pornography, etc., but not eating. Our addiction can be one of the
hardest of all to learn to control. I get so frustrated when people say, “Just stop eating so much;
Exercise more; Use your willpower; Do you really need that second piece of (fill in the blank)?”
Like we haven’t tried all that before! We know every diet that was
ever written! We’ve bought the books! We’ve signed up at the gym (and dropped
out after 2 weeks!) many times! We’ve lost hundreds of pounds…it’s just that we’ve
always gained the weight back and THEN SOME! Many of us are depressed, frustrated, anxious, socially shy
and literally “fed up” with dealing with this issue.
So if you are "fed up," like
I was, it may finally be time to take charge of your life and consider getting in touch with a Life Coach / Counselor who
truly understands where you're coming from, because I"VE BEEN THERE! I look forward to hearing from you!
